Hiding and seeking

I have been preparing today for the arrival of my sister in law and her three children for a visit. I find myself looking around my house for books and other items of my path. Tucking back bottles of wine so they are out of sight. Worried at the clutter in my home and how that make me less of a good woman, mother, wife. I am not the woman they have come to know. But that is my fault as much as theirs. I hide and suppress what I believe they could not accept, or understand. I have the altar in my room under cover due to painting in my room. A huge symbol of my search for a path that honors me in wholeness and harmony. I seeking my place and my purpose all the while hiding that from my relatives. That i guess is also part of the search is the strength and serenity that I can be myself, no hiding. I fear being vulerable to open up something so sacred to me to ridicule and mocking. What will be will be and I will make a path thru it one way or another. I am doing the work I am facing my demons and my fears and walking thru them. I am not alone. This too shall pass.