Hiding and seeking

I have been preparing today for the arrival of my sister in law and her three children for a visit. I find myself looking around my house for books and other items of my path. Tucking back bottles of wine so they are out of sight. Worried at the clutter in my home and how that make me less of a good woman, mother, wife. I am not the woman they have come to know. But that is my fault as much as theirs. I hide and suppress what I believe they could not accept, or understand. I have the altar in my room under cover due to painting in my room. A huge symbol of my search for a path that honors me in wholeness and harmony. I seeking my place and my purpose all the while hiding that from my relatives. That i guess is also part of the search is the strength and serenity that I can be myself, no hiding. I fear being vulerable to open up something so sacred to me to ridicule and mocking. What will be will be and I will make a path thru it one way or another. I am doing the work I am facing my demons and my fears and walking thru them. I am not alone. This too shall pass.

Little Pagan boy

Today while I was trying to find a book about forming a circle, yes a post on that soon. But my son comes in and wants to meditate with me. He sits down and puts his hands together in front his heart. I am sure that he has seen this in a movie, but am touched by it. He decides he is gonna meditate on how good our neighborhood is. So sweet! He sits in silence with his eyes closed for what is forever in 7 year old time. He opens his eyes and stand up and looks over my altar and picks up my new Athame. He hold is in one hand and bows his head in solemn seriousness. He tells me this is great sword and that is a sword of earth and peace. It is a small copper dagger and is set with stones. He places it back with great care. He spots my other athame and asks to hold it as well. I take it from it's sheath and hand it into his eager hands. He bows his head to this blade as well. He says this is a sword of sunlight and moonlight. This largish dagger has a what looks like horns and a crescent moon as the hilt and pommel. More than one grown adult as commented on it in circle having seen it. But that my untrained 7 years old son saw the Sun and Moon in this blade left me speechless. He is truly special little boy and I look forward to teaching him my ways and having others teach him the Ancient ways reborn. I love his surprises! Magic is real and it lives in the mind and heart of this witch and her little pagan boy!

Ever the wheel turns....

I have not posted in a long while. Much has happened and some I am still processing. I am ever more dedicated to my path and grateful for the love and support of all my good friends. We can never anticipate the journey life takes us on. Right now my house is full of the sounds of my kids laughing and chattering while they eat dinner. I am trying to purge things that no longer sever my good and are filling my cupboards, closets and drawers. My home is decorated for the coming Samhain holiday. Fall is a time of year I love, on the heels of summer it can never come soon enough. I need it cool gentle breezes, the cleansing rains and the the introspective time of healing and renewal. This summer has shown me my need to purge not just things but people, ideas, perceptions and compulsions. The summer heat refined me, never a fun. This season the Goddesses that have reached out to me have been Brigid, she is always with me in her many aspects. Athena not my usual pantheon but her wisdom, diplomacy , cool head and refusal to surrender what she knows to be right has seen me through rough days and nights. Elen of the Ways, getting to know my name sake and for Her light to shine into my darkness and confusion.
There is much joy on and horizon. Darkness and Light, I have need of them both as I walk this path of mine. To all my earthly goddesses and gods who have held my hand, hugged me, talked with me, listened as I talked and cried and talked some more. You can never know how much your love support has meant and continues to mean to me. In this season of Harvest and abundance, I have wealth beyond measure.

The end, a new beginning

People come and go in our lives. We have very limited say in either. Today I had to release and forgive people who have for one reason or another are no longer my friends. The situations really don't matter, there is nothing that can be done to change any of it now. Today I sat in my car and spoke with the Goddess and thanked her for the letting the people come to my life, for the lessons and things they brought to it and to bless them as they go. To help me release them with love and forgive them the hurt they caused and that may forgive the hurt I may have caused, however unintentional. Sometimes I think that there is something wrong with me, or at least the way I deal with new people. Perhaps this the Goddess teaching me to pace myself, open to people slowly, not rush head long into friendships and connections. Or just to get better letting go when the time comes for them to leave. I will have to meditate on that, ask for guidance. Life is lessons and i for one would rather learn sooner rather than later. Blessings for the departed, greetings to those who are to come.

Portable altar for my favorite Pict

Greetings. I wanted to share some pictures of a recent project. A dear friend, The Pict, is in the military and has all his pagan supplies are in storage. So I was inspired to make him a small altar kit. The Altar cloth is hand dyed linen, dyed with indigo. I felt impressed that this need to a be a project done by hand so I hand stitched the hem with a blessing said with each stitch. Given my friend Celtic nature and to pay homage to a lovely gift he had given me years ago. I used ogham to write the four elements and then added a stone at each direction to "anchor" the word to the fabric. Each stitch was done with intent and blessing. Knowing his favorite color was green I had reserved a dark green box and used a leather cord as a closure for it. In it I put all the basics I thought he might need or use.


A bundle of spell candles, gold, silver, white, black, red and green.
Two white ceramic candle holders and matches.
Incense sticks, a blend for peace and serenity, and a bottle of loose incense for love, protection and harmony.
A white sage smudging bundle.
Elemental representations; a small wooden screw top box full of salt for Earth. A pelican feather for Air. A tea light candle for Fire and a small white sea shell for Water.
Small bottles of blessed oil for anointing and blessed rain water.
A small silver chalice.
a bone Goddess figure and a horn ax for the God
a bar of his favorite soap I make.
Charged and blessed triskele pendant to trade him for the pentacle I had given him that past fall.

This all came together in a mater of days and was such fun to put together. It might qualify as a deluxe basic altar kit, but he deserves nothing less. I hope that is serves him well and with it he can find to to honor his path and heritage. I am proud of the man he is and his dedication and willingness to serve. I hope to see him one last time while he is on the same coast as I am. Soon he will go back to his Home state and seeing him in the flesh will become a rare thing indeed.
Much love, light and blessings to you my Favorite Pict.

Hand Fasting

My posting was sporadic cause I was also trying to make all the preparations for the Hand fasting of two of my dearest friends. It was an honor that they choose me for this job. I had more fun than I should getting ordained as a non-denominational Reverend. ( that I am a reverend makes me giggle) The whole process was a growing one on so many levels. I grew closer to my favorite water witch sister and her hunky druid fiancee, who just happens to be the brother of my spirit. To say this was a labor of love doesn't come close. I didn't feel like I was doing that much really. Just a few things here and there. Til I started to add it all up. But even with it all in front of me it didn't seem like an excess. Just what I would do for those that I loved to have the best day of their lives.

I grew in my ability to write a ceremony. It was a collaboration for sure and I did "borrow" from those who came before but with little tweaks here and there I feel I made it reflect them and still sound like something I would say. It is the best ritual I have ever written hands down.

I learned to trust in myself. I fear failure, I am terrified of it. To let myself down is one thing but to let down others terrifies me. I wanted to live up to the trust placed in me. I was trying to not sound spazzy as the day approached but this was the biggest thing I had done and was doing in front of friends and family of the bride and groom who are not Pagans. I was not just representing my friends hopes and dreams of their much planned for wedding day but an example of what and who we are to those unfamiliar with our ways. NO PRESSURE. Plus added to that was a extra sprinkle of pressure as two dear friends who had originally planned on marrying them, who had to back out for completely understandable reasons, would be there as well. So I wanted them to feel like I had done a good job. Thanks to tools taught to me by the bride and groom and the love and support of my newest soul friend, My very own Windy Witch and my dear loving husband. I was able to make it thru the set up and day proceeding with very manageable levels of anxiousness. I hope a day will come when I can just sail thru these. However in one way I feel that if I didn't feel anxious, then I don't care. The wedding ceremony went as prefect as anything should. People were deeply moved and the bride and groom were thrilled with it. It was a proud moment and memory I will carry with me always.

At the reception, which was just too much fun, the groom and bride held a symbel, a toast of sorts. They thanked family and friends for their part in the wedding and in their lives. The groom gave a lovely hail to me, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever felt/heard. I wish I had known it was coming so I could have recorded it. So on dark days I could replay it. I know that the Goddess brought me here, I know that this Tribe that i see growing around me is my reward for breaking away and making my way on my true path. I am profoundly honored by the wealth of friends I have, true friends, people who are the family of my heart.
That weekend by the sea was a joy and a blessing as so much of what we do together.
It was like a faerie dream full of flowers, butterflies, a princess and her prince.

Brightest Blessings

A poem I wrote for Beltane

She has fully roused from Her slumbers.

And longs for the touch of Her Beloved, She seeks Him everywhere.

His call finds the hollow of her ear, it is carried on every warm wind.

It causes the petals to flutter, as does her heart.

And branches and trunks to sway, like her round supple hips.

To the rhythm of his love songs She dances with growing abandon.

life in all is forms bursts forth from each foot fall

Warm love grows like the rising sun at dawn

More ardent with each passing moment.

He has found her, his love, His Queen.

At long last they are one.

All creation rejoices at the divine union;

basking in the glow of a love that burns eternal.